she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
