Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
ok first of all what the fuck
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
