I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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