Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She's the barista slut.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
