You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
