3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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