i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
