I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
