wakey wakey hands off snakey
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
