We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
