just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
