he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
