There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
