And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
