I got chris browned last night
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
