It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Come share oat with me in your robe
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
