Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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