everyone is single if you try hard enough
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You have to summon your inner elephant
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
