Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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