Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
