update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
