I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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