I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
