I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
