you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
