When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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