One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Can vaginas get frostbite?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
