We're facebook friends in real life
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
