I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
