i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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