The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Randomize