Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
