I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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