he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
