In the future we'll all be gay
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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