my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
