They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
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