No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
