highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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