i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
