why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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