I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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