I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
