You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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