I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
