it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
