Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
