Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
