Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
