You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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