yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
