I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
