Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
